First of all, we are grateful that we are blessed with this work setup. But, oh goodness – it is no piece of cake!
Working from home since the pandemic hit has been a blessing in many ways for me and my wife. We no longer have to spend hours preparing and commuting to and from work, and we have more time to spend with each other and our son. We can’t even imagine how it would have looked like being first time parents while also working full-time because we had him already in this setup. Being able to work from home has also given us the flexibility to manage our schedules better, especially with all the household chores since we live alone without a helper, and still having some energy to prioritize our family time.
However, working from home with a toddler can be challenging. It’s not always easy to juggle work responsibilities while keeping our little one entertained and out of trouble. There are days when we struggle to find a balance between work and parenting, and we have to learn to be creative and patient in finding solutions to keep everyone happy and productive. Needless to say, sleeping time suffer at times and you know how this impacts your energy, ability to focus, and your overall mood.
Constantly on the “Go”
My wife and I work on opposite schedules. We did not plan it but somehow it worked that way and that has become a great advantage.
Our typical day starts bright and early at 5 AM, when my wife starts work. I’m usually up until around 3 AM finishing my work, so it’s a bit of a challenge to get up and moving, but we manage. Our energetic toddler is usually up by 7 AM, and we all stumble into the kitchen for breakfast. It’s a bit of a wild scene with some chasing and tuning around to burn off his morning energy pump, but we manage to get some food in us eventually.
By 10 AM, my wife goes on a break, and it’s my opportunity to cook lunch while she hangs out with the little guy. We manage to eat in peace for about 30 minutes before she heads back to work. The rest of the afternoon is a bit of a blur of playing with our toddler, trying to keep him entertained, and chasing him around until he’s ready for his nap around 2 PM. It’s a bit of a challenge to get him to settle down, but once he’s out, we all get some much-needed rest. This is my chance to recharge before my work starts at 6 PM.
By 3 PM, my wife’s workday is over, and our little guy is still sleeping, so she takes the opportunity to wash the dishes and clean up the mess we left while playing with him. After that, she gets to freshen up and have a short nap in too, because our guy usually wakes up around 5 PM and is ready for more fun and games.
I wake up around 6 PM and start working while my wife takes charge of our son. We take a quick break to prepare and eat dinner, and you can imagine more play time after, and then she tucks him into bed while I finish up my work. It’s a long and sometimes hectic day, but we manage to make it work, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
The Trade-Off
While we might seem to have a handle on things, there are definitely trade-offs and things that we are still learning how to manage. It can be exhausting to be constantly busy, and sometimes it feels like we’re running on fumes. There are days when my wife just bursts into tears because she’s so tired, and we find ourselves getting into small fights over the littlest things because we’re both just emotionally drained.
Our downtime is also compromised at times. While we used to love binge-watching shows on Netflix or YouTube, sometimes we’re just too exhausted to do anything other than sleep. We still go out and try to have fun when we can. And even when we do try to go out on the weekends to give our son a change of scenery, it can be exhausting trying to control him and keep him safe while he gets overly excited.
There also comes all the thinking and dealing with other family dilemmas. There are days where we would rather stay at home than go out with other family and friends so we can have a little time for ourselves doing nothing, if that is even possible.
Making It Work
Despite all the challenges, we try to make it work. To cope up and find a little balance, my wife and I try to engage in some activities with friends once a month, if possible. We love traveling and free diving, and we’ve found that taking some time away from the daily routine really helps us recharge. It’s not always easy to find the time, but we try to plan ahead as much as possible. It’s also great to have supportive family members who are willing to take care of our son while we’re away for a few hours.
I am personally reminded that date nights as husband and wife are incredibly important. I realized it when we celebrated our 11th anniversary since we started dating. Hopefully, we can do this more often to connect and celebrate each other, away from the distractions of our busy lifestyle. Whether it’s a fancy dinner at a restaurant or just a quiet night in, it’s a chance for us to rediscover our relationship and remind ourselves of how and we enjoy each other’s company.
We’ve also realized that it’s important to set boundaries and not take on too much extra work. While it can be tempting to say yes to every opportunity that comes our way (me in particular), we’ve learned the hard way that it’s just not sustainable. Personally, I am trying to get better at saying no and prioritizing our own needs and goals.
I also try to improve my physical well being. For me, that means trying to engage in physical activities and eating more healthy food. I tend to snack a lot of junk food when I’m stressed or tired, but I’m trying to make a conscious effort to take better care of my body.
It’s Not Forever
We know that this isn’t forever, and as others say, children grow up so fast. We’re grateful for the time we get to spend together as a family, watching our little one in his milestones. And at the end of the day, just being grateful as we all pile up in bed and cuddle, knowing that tomorrow is a new day and we’ll do it all over again.
Working from home with a toddler can be a challenging and exhausting experience, but my wife and are figuring out ways to find a little balance. We’ve learned that it’s important to nurture our relationship and take care of our physical and emotional well-being, even when life gets hectic. While there are still challenges and obstacles to overcome, we’re grateful for the support of our family and the love and commitment we have for each other.