Embracing Change Without Losing Yourself

Change often arrives uninvited, disrupting our routines, challenging our comfort zones, and sometimes, leaving us grappling with feelings that resemble grief. When preparing for a recent learning session, we unpacked how our brains sometimes equate change with loss. We feel this way because change can shake the foundations of what we hold dear, whether that’s our sense of security, familiar routines, or even cherished memories.

This insight led my team to incorporate the stages of grief in this recent training session as a framework for understanding responses to change. In this blog, I want to share those insights, along with personal reflections from changes in my own life recently—adjusting to my wife’s new role, our toddler starting preschool, and shifts in my own work responsibilities. Navigating these changes helped me see that change isn’t something to be feared but an opportunity to realign, pivot, and grow beyond where we are today.

Understanding Change Through the Stages of Grief

Change, in many ways, mirrors the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While each person experiences these differently, understanding them can help us acknowledge our feelings and navigate the unknown with compassion for ourselves. Here’s a breakdown:

1. Denial: The first response often looks like resistance—denying that change is happening or convincing ourselves that things will soon “return to normal.”
2. Anger: When denial no longer works, frustration can surface. This is a critical stage where the initial pain of loss sets in, and it’s okay to feel and express it.
3. Bargaining: This stage involves negotiating with the circumstances, searching for ways to “control” the change and attempting to find a compromise.
4. Depression: As the weight of the reality sets in, sadness or a sense of helplessness may follow. For me, this part has been an adjustment in routine, realizing that some plans would require waiting.
5. Acceptance: Acceptance does not mean you’re thrilled about the change, but you’re now open to exploring new possibilities.

In that learning session, I observed participants responding positively to recognizing these stages in themselves. They realized that their reactions were not “failures” but natural human responses.

Finding Your Pivot Point: The Key to Moving Forward

The pivot point in any journey of change is commitment—the decision to move forward. This commitment becomes our anchor, helping us not just return to the “normal” we knew but to grow beyond it. Think of it as a compass during times of uncertainty.

When my wife began her new role, my family and I had to reevaluate our routines. We found ourselves reorganizing responsibilities, managing our toddler’s adjustment to preschool, and carving out time to focus on new personal goals. Committing to these changes as a family anchor has allowed us to see them not as disruptions but as stepping stones.

If you’re navigating change, here are some practical steps to help you find that pivot point:

1. Identify Your Anchor: Whether it’s a goal, a value, or simply a desire to be better, find a reason to keep pushing forward. This will give you a sense of purpose amid the discomfort.
2. Focus on What’s in Your Control: Change brings uncertainty, but we always have control over our response to it. When things feel overwhelming, focus on manageable actions to help you regain a sense of agency.
3. Lean on Your Support System: Don’t hesitate to lean on family, friends, or colleagues. Change can feel isolating, but we don’t have to go through it alone.
4. Embrace the Learning Process: Every change teaches us something new. It can broaden our perspective and expand our capacity for resilience.

From Resistance to Transformation: A Journey of Growth

Ultimately, the goal of navigating change is not merely to go back to the way things were but to evolve into something even better. The discomfort is real, but so is the potential for growth. I’ve found that by embracing change with an open heart, I’m able to expand beyond my comfort zone and experience new levels of growth.

As we move through our stages of adaptation, the commitment to our pivot point becomes the fuel for real transformation. It can bring us back not to our past selves but to our best selves—a version more resilient, grounded, and equipped for future challenges.

Conclusion: The Power of Resilience in Times of Change

We often hear that “change is the only constant,” yet our instincts still resist it. But what if, instead of resisting, we welcomed change as an invitation to grow? By understanding our responses, finding our anchor, and moving through the stages of adaptation, we can face change without losing ourselves.

I encourage you, the next time you’re facing a shift, to remember that the journey through change holds potential for something beyond what you know. Embrace it. Commit to the pivot point that will guide you, and let the experience transform you.

References:
Kubler-Ross Change Curve (https://www.ekrfoundation.org/5-stages-of-grief/change-curve/)