August is a tough month for me. It’s when I celebrate my birthday, and like most people who hover somewhere in their early-to-mid-thirties, I find myself doing the thing we all quietly do before blowing out the candles: asking hard questions about the future.
Where is this going? Are we on track? What if we’re not?
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how the next few years might shape the next twenty. That’s not an exaggeration. There are personal projects on the horizon that carry weighty consequences. Every decision feels amplified because now, I don’t just make choices for me. I make them for my wife, my son, and my newborn daughter. And let’s not forget, I’m also still supporting my family of origin… parents, siblings, the whole village.
When Provision Becomes Pressure
I wear many hats. I’m a husband. A dad of two. A full-time professional. And in Filipino culture, I’m also the breadwinner, not just for my household, but for my parents and siblings, too. It’s a beautiful responsibility, but a heavy one. Sometimes, providing feels less like an act of love and more like carrying a boulder uphill.
I recently sat down with an Excel sheet trying to map out shifts in expenses, timelines, savings targets, and dream milestones but I struggled. Of course, the Math of things is a challenge on its own but I can’t also help but be anxious about what’s ahead. I catch myself thinking… “Should I consider teaching again in the university? Maybe I should try to get more clients in my small flower shop business? Should I look for some part-time side hustles? Maybe I should reconsider my investment options?”. But the more I think about those, I’m realizing how fragile and conflicted I feel about those.
What I need isn’t just a master plan. What I need is direction for the next step.
I closed the file and just paused thinking about the tension between what I expected and what was happening, this phrase surfaced in my heart like a whisper:
“God isn’t in your 5-year plan. He’s in your next step.”
It hit me hard. Because I realized I was missing something essential. It’s not the plans, but presence.
Planning Still Matters but Isn’t the Point
I’ve observed that since I got married, my spontaneity was taken-over by my planner nature. As a husband and father navigating both career demands and family responsibilities, I don’t take planning lightly. I believe it’s part of stewardship. But here’s the wake-up call I received recently: planning is wise and necessary, but obsession with the future can rob you of presence.
James 4:13-15 hits like a splash of cold water:
“ Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.’ Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For you are just a vapor that appears for a little while, and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.’”
God’s Active Participation in the Present
The more I lean into the idea of presence, the more I see that God is not far-off, just waiting at the end of my plan. He is right here, actively involved in my everyday moments.
Just last week, I was stressed about my mom’s hospital bills. I remember praying out of sheer exhaustion, “Lord, I can’t carry all of this unless You show up.”
And He did. Not with a windfall or a grand revelation but through little graces.
- I received a notification for an award at work, with a cash incentive.
- A friend and boss offered financial assistance, if I will need it.
- Our HMO did a segregation of diagnoses which refreshed our coverage for my mom’s bill.
- My son saying ‘I Love You’ more frequently than he used to, and expressing how he likes his new school.
- My wife reminding me to take my vitamins.
Matthew 6:26 floated to mind:
“Look at the birds of the sky, that they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather crops into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more important than they?”
These weren’t just solutions and answered prayers. They were reminders. Reminders that God isn’t absent from the pressure. He’s present in it.
The Power of the Next Step
Psalm 119:105 puts it simply:
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
It’s a lamp, not a floodlight.
God gives us just enough light for the next step when we need it. He doesn’t overwhelm us with the entire roadmap. Why? Because it’s his job to prepare the road ahead.
I used to resist this. I thought security meant figuring out the whole picture. Now, I see how much faith is formed in the dimly lit steps, and trying to be comfortable with it.
Maybe that’s the point. We grow by walking, not by predicting.
Letting the Future Unfold Without Missing Today
As I approach another year of life, I still have a dozen questions about how things will pan out:
- Will this project take off?
- Will we finish the house on time?
- Will the kids have what they need?
- Will I still have enough to provide for everyone depending on me?
But now I ask those questions with open hands, not clenched fists.
Isaiah 46:10 reminds me of who’s really in control:
“I make known the end from the beginning… My purpose will stand.”
In other words, God already sees and holds the future I’m worried about. And the way to get there isn’t through striving, it’s through surrender.
Presence Doesn’t Mean Passivity
Let me be clear: living in the present doesn’t mean neglecting the future. It means preparing with trust, not fear. It means moving forward with purpose, not panic.
It means you plan—but you don’t idolize the plan.
You dream—but you don’t drown in the unknowns.
You act—but you don’t do it alone.
This birthday, I’m not just counting years. I’m counting steps.
I still have plans. But now, I’m trying to live with a new posture: Present. Aware. Dependent. Because I’ve learned that the future doesn’t need me to figure everything out. It needs me to be faithful today. Not everything needs to be figured out yet. Just the next right step.
Let’s Reflect Together:
- Are your current plans drawing you closer to the present or pulling you away from it?
- What “next step” might you be being led to take?
- Where might presence offer more peace than projection?
If this post resonated with you, feel free to share it. Someone else might be quietly walking the same road, planning big, loving hard, and wondering if they’re falling behind. The truth is: you’re not behind. You’re just being invited into the next step. And that next step?
It’s where life happens.