The other day, I had a conversation with someone younger than me. He is smart, hardworking, very talented. He shared that he is currently transitioning to a new role, but behind his excitement was a quiet frustration. “I’m being pulled in too many directions,” he said. “I feel like every decision on career, family, even what to prioritize today feels like a gamble.”
I nodded, because I’ve been there.
Balancing career aspirations with family responsibilities, deciding what to say yes or no to, trying to give your best in every area without losing yourself in the process—it’s a very real tension. And often, it’s not the big, dramatic choices that shake us. It’s the small, everyday ones that slowly wear us down if we’re not anchored.
That conversation lingered with me because it reminded me how much I rely on something invisible but very real: an inner compass.
What Is This “Inner Compass”?
It’s that internal guide rooted in your values, your faith, your beliefs, or whatever keeps you grounded when life feels like it’s speeding up or falling apart. For me, it’s a combination of my faith, my family values, and a deep desire to live with purpose and integrity.
When I don’t know the perfect answer (which is most of the time), this compass points me to what feels most aligned. Whether I’m deciding how to respond to an urgent email while my son’s tugging at my sleeve, or how to guide my siblings through a financial decision, I try to stay connected to what matters most.
Over time, that practice has built something priceless: self-assurance. Not loud or flashy. Just a quiet confidence that I can trust myself to move forward even when the path isn’t 100% clear.
Building Self-Assurance Through Daily Decisions
1. Reconnect with Your Values Often
In that chat, I asked him, “What would your 10-year-older self thank you for doing right now?” He paused and smiled. “Probably spending more time with my daughter.” That one moment of clarity came not from logic, but values. When decisions feel muddy, try asking which option best reflects the person you’re trying to become. I try to take five minutes at the end of each day to ask: Did I act today in line with what I care about most? Most of the time it gives me peace and pray with more gratitude, but if not – it leads me to seek more help and guidance.
2. Surround Yourself with Purpose-Driven People
During a tough week, I had lunch with my closest work friends and buddies who reminded me how we’re not supposed to have all the answers – just the courage to keep choosing what matters. That grounding came from a few people who knows my heart. When you’re off-course, the right people don’t just give advice. They remind you of your inner compass. Build intentional check-ins with trusted people who reflect your values back to you, and you might be surprised that it’s also what they needed from you.
3. Normalize Uncertainty and Keep Moving
There was a time when I delayed a major family decision for weeks, waiting for the “perfect” answer. But in the end, what moved things forward was simply choosing the next right thing. As Adam Grant shares in Think Again, confident people are willing to admit they don’t know and move forward anyway. It’s hard for me sometimes, but I’m starting to accept that clarity often comes after the step, not before it. I’ve been trying to create space in my activities for small reflections, not just big decisions. My experience solidifies the idea that uncertainty is part of the process, and we just have to accept it so it won’t limit us in moving towards our next steps.
4. Lead with Empathy and Humility
In my role as a learning practitioner, I get asked for advice a lot. Early on, I’ve come to realize that leadership is more about listening well, asking questions, and staying teachable. We don’t have all the answers and people don’t need our perfection. They need our presence and our willingness to grow.
5. Celebrate Small Wins
When you’re constantly making decisions, especially the invisible ones, it’s easy to feel like you’re not progressing. But the small wins are what build self-trust over time. My son has been demanding more attention at his age, so it’s a challenge sometimes but as much as possible, I try to be present. Every time he calls for my attention to play with him, I try to sit for a while with him and play. It felt small, but it mattered. And I’m learning to count those moments. Self-assurance is built on a trail of small, intentional wins that say, “I showed up.” Keep winning in these little moments. If you are logging these wins in a journal, one line a day is enough to remind you you’re making progress.
The Compass Isn’t Loud, But It’s Steady
The young man I spoke with left our conversation lighter. Not because we solved everything, but because he was reminded that he had what he needed inside him. That’s what your inner compass does. It doesn’t always give you the destination, but it helps you take the next faithful step.
In a world that rewards certainty and speed, we have to give ourselves the permission to move slowly and in alignment. Trust the small choices. They’re shaping who you’re becoming.
And when in doubt, pause. Listen. That quiet voice inside, the one that’s guided you through tough seasons before, is still there.
If this resonated with you, share it with someone who’s navigating a lot right now. Or leave a comment: How do you stay grounded in your day-to-day decisions?